April Gratitude Practice: Breakthrough

Photo by author

Yesterday, I had a huge breakthrough during a moment, which was almost a trance, while I was dragging the outdoor arena. I realized at that moment, that not only was I judged by my family as a person in everything I did and how I was as a parent, but my ex was too!

I told my daughter that it is a very good thing that we married other people, because of all of the toxic judgment that we were both under and because of that, we were hard on each other, too!

I had not realized that we were both unhealthy when we were married. I honestly thought it was just me. Both of us came from unhealthy families. I knew that, but I had not realized deep within my soul, that it is a very good thing that we found healthier relationships to help raise our children.

I can forgive myself and him for our divorce. I can celebrate that our children grew up to be the best version of themselves, even though our marriage ended. The judgement from others continued, but we both had someone in our lives to shield us from what it had been like when we were together.

For this deeper understanding, I am incredibly grateful. I am healthier today than I was yesterday. I am experiencing compassion that I have not experienced before toward us both.

I had a healing dream last night about my ex-husband. I don't remember details, but I know it was healing and full of compassion. The compassion erased the judgement and pain away. It was a beautiful experience.

Manifest a magical day. Watch for fairy dust and unicorns.

PS. Image and I played online yesterday. I rewarded her for every single try to go left. I started with rewarding her nose looking left. Then I rewarded her when 1 foot started to move left. I started over after each reward. Before I knew it, she was able to walk one half way around me with a calm, quiet energy. NO DUST. No fear. No judgement. We worked together from a deep connection and compassion for each other. She did not push my bubble and I did not push her bubble.

At feeding time last night and again this morning, she was able to go left without a halter or lead rope attached. It felt beautiful. Dan video taped it, we will see if it looked beautiful, too!

Image and I had a similar breakthrough, too! How interesting and magical that both my inner work and my outer work coincided.