Porch Pondering: Decisions

Photo by Debbie Soderberg Kirchner

I made an important decision yesterday that wasn’t easy for me to make! 

I found myself in a very low place this week, as the first year of my mother’s passing was marked on the calendar! Memories flooded through my mind and heart! Some good, some unfortunately were extremely painful and traumatic!

I honor my low moods. I don’t make life changing decisions. I give myself space to feel, to cry, to laugh again! 

I was offered an opportunity to teach 3 days a week, a couple of hours a day earlier this week! I gave myself permission to wait until my heart had moved through the sorrow of the one year anniversary! 

After a long, heartfelt discussion with my amazing partner, I knew what I needed to write! 

The truth is that I am still not living in a joyful state enough of the time to give back.... yet! I am better, but I have to be honest with myself, too! The thought of a teaching commitment right now... may not be in anyone’s best interest.  

The anniversary took me pretty low. It isn’t just about her passing. It’s all the family trauma memories, too! As much as I want to be ready, I am not! I need to write, spend time in joy with everything I do, until I can give again! 

I know you can feel it, too! Hugs!

This wasn’t easy to admit. In fact, tears were running down my cheeks after I hit send. However, I felt a peaceful warmth fill my heart because I had made the right decision in this moment in time!

I needed time to sit, to ponder, to reflect and feel before making this decision! Saying “no” isn’t easy for me to do! 

As magical coincidences usually occur in my life, I wasn’t surprised to experience yet another magical moment to remind me to be grateful as I continue to listen to my heart wisdom! 

We went for a lovely side by side ride after I made this difficult decision! As we passed the log chair, my late father-in-law had cut into the stump while helping us gather wood to heat our home, I remembered that he carved it right before his passing in 2006! A legacy! A message to do what makes you happy whenever you can!

When you have a decision to make, do you make it quickly, or do you take time to ponder?

Do you listen for your truth or someone else’s? 

Do you make decisions from a low mood or wait?

Manifest a magical day!